Weel mukkers this is it. Ah think I’m gonna be quitting this 'ere auld blog. Ah git awfy much ither stuff gaun oan richt noo. Plus, ah juist git this freish thing cried th' auld Facebook, ne'er heard o' it afore, bit Cara shawed it tae me 'n' it seems lik' a stoatin wey tae bade in titch wi' fowk 'n' keep fowk updated as tae what’s goin oan in yer lee. Ah made a page juist th'day 'n' sae it seems thare isn’t muckle o' a point tae this anymore.

I landed in Canada lest week 'n' huv bin juist practicing aye fur th' competition comin' up in a couple days. Ah huv met some o' th' guys oan mah team 'n' th' owners o' Analog, thay seem lik' a stoatin bunch o' chaps. Th' snowboarding 'ere is bonny. Hee haw lik' ah huv ever dane afore. Tis sae different frae th' alps, it's awesome. 'n' British Colombia is damn stoatin. Th' fowk ur stoatin fin 'n' a' body seems tae lee a bonny guid lee 'ere. Ah micht juist huv tae shift here…haha nah, Scotland’s mah hame, that’s whaur ah wull aye lay mah head.

That’s it fur me ladies 'n' gents. Guid luck in lee tae a' o' ye 'n' if yi'll waant ye kin keek fur me oan th' auld Facebook. Cheers mates!

Bollocks that wis ferr th' pairtie! mah mukkers brought oot a' th' stops fur me. God ah loue they bastards. We hud a pig roast 'n' plenty o' ale tae gang around. Thay git some music set up ootdoors th' distillery in th' back 'n' we cried a' body aff fur th' efternoon 'n' juist hud a grand auld time celebrating.

Most o' mah family wis thare tae whilk wis stoatin. We a' git ferr snookered 'n' eventually broke doon intae drunken singing haha. Ah hawp ah didn’t embarrass myself tae ill fernent mah lady. She hadn’t met that muckle o' mah family afore sae that wis freish tae her. She seemed tae dae bonny weel fur herself though, she kin handle herself in that kind o' situation. Murph 'n' Eric gave me a speech, weel, ah jalouse ye cuid ca' it that. Mair o' a drunken toast wi' some gibberish thrown in thare. Ye ken howfur us Scots get.

I bought th' tickets fur Canada fur myself 'n' Cara th' ither nicht. A'm a' set 'n' duin tae gang aff tae dae some shredding in th' wast. Ah wull likelie dae a few mair training sessions 'ere afore ah lea. Ah kin even try 'n' git some mair footage o' mah practicing, ne'er kin huv awfy much o' that. It helps me tae watch myself dae tricks sae that ah kin improve thaim 'n' really see whit a'm daein' wrong. 'n' if hee haw else it's something tae dae oan th' aicht oor plane hurl tae Canada.

Ah think ah huv made mah decision. It looks lik' a'm gonna let yin o' mah uncles run th' distillery fur noo. Ah juist huv awfy much stuff gaun oan. Eventually ah wull run it again bit richt noo ah wid ower pursue mah snowboarding career. Ah huv gotten a few ither calls frae ither teams noo keekin tae add me as a rider, sae a'm stoked.

But oan th' ither haun it really does sook huvin tae lea th' distillery 'n' mah mukkers thare. A'm gaun tae be daein' a lot o' traveling in order tae pursue mah snowboarding 'n' amurnay gaun tae see muckle o' thaim fur awhile. Luckily Cara haes said she wid lik' tae come wi' me Wance she graduates. She’ll follow me around tae a' th' events 'n' travel th' world wi' me. That wull be awesome. A'm starting tae lik' this lassie mair 'n' mair ilka day, sae hings ur keekin up in that respect. This Thursday wull be mah lest day at th' distillery. Wur gonna huv a send off/good luck pairtie whilk shuid be stoatin fin. A'm excited tae be able tae focus oan snowboarding noo 'n' it shuid be sweet tae be able tae nae dae anything except hurl! haha. I’ll let ye a' ken howfur th' festivities gang th'morra, hopefully amurnay tae blootert tae blog fur ye. Cheers.

A'm starting tae cop pressure frae some o' mah family members aboot transferring th' ownership o' th' distillery ower tae yin o' mah uncles. Thay dae a lot o' stuff around 'ere awready bit th' family is saying am not daein' a great jab running th' place. Thay say a'm tae sporadic, lazy, 'n' immature tae run it. 'n' ye ken whit? a'm starting tae gree wi' thaim. Ah loue running th' distillery 'n' ah loue bein' th' high heid yin 'n' telling fowk whit tae dae, bit ah huv sae mony ither hings a'm waantin' tae dae in lee 'n' running this distillery is putting a serious damper oan that. Lik', ah kin nae be able tae gang tae that competition ah wis telling ye aboot fur it's richt around th' time we huv some celebrations 'n' competitions wi' ither whiskey distilleries 'ere in Glenshiel. We host th' gathering 'n' it's forordinar ferr fin, bit ah totally forgot aboot it whin ah wis excited tae git th' sponsorship ca' 'n' said ah cuid mak' it tae th' competition. If ah keep managing th' distillery a'm gonna huv tae bonny muckle winch mah sponsorship riding cheerio the nou, 'n' ah don’t ken if a'm duin tae dae that. Bugger. Ah jalouse this is yin o' they big lee decisions mah faither wis telling me aboot. I’ll huv tae think this yin thro' 'n' blether tae mah mukkers 'n' Cara aboot this. Whichever wey ah wale tae gang, it's gonna hurt losing th' ither thing ah loue in lee sae ah gotta be duin fur it. That’s whit ah keep telling myself.

Mah mukkers 'n' ah gaed oot fishing th' ither day. We drove ower tae Loch Awe leekin fur some big Broon trout. Murph’s git an auld river boat wi' a 75 horsepower motor oan it, it's great fin. Th' best wey tae catch th' buggers is by fly fishing bit bugger if ony o' us kin dae that haha. We juist used earthworms 'n' hoped yin wid bite. We wur mair oot thare juist tae huv a guid time. Th' sun wis shining 'n' thare wasn’t a cloud in th' sky. A great day tae be oan th' water. We eventually ended up getting a few bites efter we’d bin oot thare awhile bit hee haw substantial. Towards th' end Rob git a guid skelp 'n' yanked th' pole tae sink th' hook in th' fishes gob, bit somehow th' bugger git awa', 'n' he teuk th' bait wi' him. Efter awhile we gave up 'n' decided tae juist boat around th' loch. Found a couple crakin' swimming plooks, some rocks tae jump aff whilk wis stoatin fin. A' in a' 'twas a relaxing day, 'n' ah needed tae git awa' frae th' distillery fur awhile 'n' th' busyness that haes become mah lee lately.

This' th' bugger we were aftah!

Sae ah ran intae some trauble th' ither day at th' distillery. Th' motor that runs th' stirring device ben yin o' th' mash tuns broke. This means th' mash isn’t bein' stirred whilk means it's nae getting th' proper oxygen it needs. Ah called up Doug, wha does maist o' th' mechanical wirk around th' distillery; ah sure as hell can’t be bothered wi' that crap. He cam in 'n' wis able tae fix it in a few hours. Bit during that time ah hud tae hulp th' guys keep stirring th' mash. We teuk turns, bit it aye wis ferr th' hard hing. Ah huv a better appreciation fur th' ol’ timers that did th' hail process by hand!

Here’s a picture o' th' mash tun, sae ye ken fur reference whit thay keek lik' 'n' th' great amount o' mash we hud tae try 'n' stir by hand.

Ah tellt ye al' earlier ah wid gang intae brief detail oan th' process o' making whiskey. Ah huv some free time richt noo sae ah figure I’ll be a guid Scot 'n' keep mah promise. Ah mak' a malt whiskey at mah distillery whilk is compromised really o' juist twa ingredients, water 'n' barley. Th' barley is pat intae water 'til th' seeds germinate or sprout. Wance this happens, thay ur spread oot oan th` malt hoose floor 'n' flipped using a lairge wooden paddle each day. Th' starch in th' barley turns tae sugar, 'n' Wance it seems lik' th' richt time (don’t ask me how we know, we juist do) we pat it in an oven or kiln tae dry it oot. In order tae git that peaty, smoky taste, we burn peat 'n' blaw th' smoke ower th' barely. Wance it's completely dry we grind it up intae grist 'n' combine it wi' water. This is called “mash”. This mash is then stirred in a mash tun 'n' th' resulting liquid is drained aff. This liquid then haes yeast added tae it in washbacks. Frae thare, th' fermentation process starts. Efter a couple days th' substance essentially looks 'n' tastes lik' beer. This wash mixture is then pat intae pot stills, huge copper pots that heat th' liquid tae a very haot temperature. Th' shape o' th' necks o' thae pot stills ultimately haes an influence oan th' taste o' th' final product.

Conventionally thare ur twa or three different pot stills that huv a wee, medium, 'n' high spirit wine. Ultimately, we try 'n' pull th' medium oot 'n' uise this fur oor whiskey. Thare is na tasting dane during this process, th' whiskey is ainlie tested in a “spirit safe” whilk is sealed by HM Excise 'n' Customs. Frae this medium pot aye, th' whiskey is drained intae oak barrels tae stairt th' maturation process. We huv three, five, 13, 'n' 25 aged whiskeys. A' o' which ur smooth ‘n’ tasty! This is o' coorse, a short 'n' simplified explanation bit it does gie ye a decent idea o' th' whiskey distilling process.

We stumbled oot o' Rob’s apartment 'n' stairted doon th' street towards th' pub, creating a ruckus th' hail wey thare. Wance we wur ootdoors, Murph 'n' Eric finished thair butts 'n' we clamored intae th' pub. Th' dimly lit place seemed lik' a hame awa' frae hame fur us. We’ve bin comin' 'ere fur ferr some time 'n' maist o' th' regulars knew us by name, alang wi' Murph’s cousin, wha wis th' owner.

We a' grabbed a pint 'n' a shot o' whiskey, slammed th' shots, 'n' waint ower tae oor usual table tae drink oor pints. Efter a few mair rounds o' this we wur a' spread aboot th' bar. Murph 'n' Rob wur ower by th' snooker table playing a gam, 'n' Eric 'n' ah wur tossing darts. Ah wis kicking his ass. He stairted tae git pissed at th' absolute thrashin’ ah wis giving him 'n' stairted giving me shit fur al' kinds o' stuff. Weel, efter a couple mair drinks ah wis guid 'n' knackered up. Ye cuid likelie jalouse whit happened neist or mibbe naw. Ah stairted getting fed up wi' his crap 'n' frae thare th' liquor teuk ower. Ah tossed a few choice words aboot his mom his wey, he tossed a few back aboot mah freish lady friend, 'n' frae thare it escalated intae a all oot blown wrestling match around th' bar. Afore a'body cuid stop us, we barreled intae a few tables 'n' bar stools, knocking thaim ower, alang wi' pint glasses 'n' bottles, a' o' thaim smashing around us. Th' skirmish encouraged Murph 'n' Rob tae come see whit wis gaun oan, thay stairted laughing thair asses aff at us 'til we barreled intae Murph wha's pint gaed a' ower him. He didn’t tak' a liking tae that 'n' th' neist thing ye ken he wis trying tae tak' baith o' us oan. Frae thare, it gaed further downhill 'n' turned intae an a' oot brawl atween al' o' us.

Efter ah git thrown oan th' ground, ah stood back up near th' bar. Murph 'n' Eric wur aye gaun at it 'n' Eric git th' upper haun 'n' shoved Murph back intae me. Ah flung mah arm back tae grab th' bar tae bade up 'n' in that motion smacked a pint gless sae hard it flew o'er th' bar 'n' smashed intae th' gless tap shelf o' th' bar. Th' shelf smashed, alang wi' th' bar mirror behind it, 'n' wi' th' shelf, doon cam th' expensive whiskey bottles. Shyte. That made us stop, that 'n' Murph’s cousin holding th' wooden club he keeps behind th' bar fur instances lik' this. Whin a' wis said 'n' dane we owed a hefty bar tab, alang wi' paying fur th' shelf, mirror, 'n' bottles o' whiskey. We weren’t allowed back fur awhile haha. Murph’s cousin said he’d beat th' shyte oot o' us if we cam within ten feet o' th' pub.

Sin ah git some free time oan mah hauns, ah figured I’d tell ye a' aboot th' time mah mukkers 'n' ah ran up a $300 quid tab 'n' $500 in damages at oor local pub, Murph’s. It a' stairted yin Friday nicht efter ah left th' distillery. Rob called me up 'n' tellt me tae come ower tae his place fur a few brews. Whin ah git thare thae goons hud awready stairted drinkin wi'oot me 'n' wur bonny far alang intae th' case o' McEwans. Ah grabbed a boattle oot o' th' fridge 'n' gaed 'n' sat doon wi' thaim in th' living room. Th' telly. Wis oan 'n' 'twas replaying an auld footy match atween Dunfermline Athletic FC. 'n' Ayr United. Na yin wis really paying attention tae it. A' 'twas daein' wis providing background noise.

Within hauf an oor o' me bein' thare we hud awready finished th' case 'n' moved onto whiskeys wi' ice. By this time we wur getting bonny rowdy. We wur a' standing up yelling at ilk ither 'n' haein a grand ol time. We wur giving Murph shit fur th' baird he brought hame th' ither nicht, whew; she wis quite th' non-looker haha. He stairted tae tak' some offense tae th' jeers 'n' eventually shoved mah pal Eric o'er th' room! Wance Eric git up they stairted gaun at it, 'n' we let it go’ oan’ fur a few minutes, laughing oor asses aff th' hail time afore separating th' twa. Efter we a' teuk a couple mair drinks 'n' laughed it a' aff. This shuid huv bin th' foremaist sign nae tae go doon tae th' pub….

Sae th' lest few weeks ah huv bin pretty busy 'n' haven’t bin able tae keep up wi' th' blogging, sorry mukkers. Bit ah git huge News! A few weeks ago the snowboaidin company Analog call’d 'n' said that thay wantae sponsor me! Ah wis fuckin psyched whin thay tellt me that. Ah hud mah buddy Rob pat th'gither some o' th' footage we hud frae different practice stuff 'n' some ither highlights frae ower th' lest couple years. Ah sent it tae thaim a few months ago 'n' thay finally git back tae me. Thay said thay ur sponsoring an event in British Colombia in th' Fall 'n' thay waant me tae fly ower thare 'n' hurl fur thaim. Bloody awesome, eh?

Ah huv also bin spending some time wi' a freish lady bird o' mine. Her name’s Cara 'n' ah met her twa weeks ago in Glasgow. She’s a student thare, graduating this June. She is ferr th' looker, bit mair importantly (I swear haha), she’s an awesome person. We’ve bin meetin up 'n' goin out in Edinburgh wi' mah mukkers 'n' thay a' seem tae approve o' her. She likes thaim tae. She is graduating wi' a gree in Environmental Science, whilk is cool. Mibbie if hings wirk oot she kin hulp me mak' mah distillery mair environmentally friendly. Whit a responsible young Scot a'm! mah faither wid be proud.

Scotch egg! Huv' any o' ya ever haid one o' these? Quite th' tasty treat if ya' ask meh.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotch_egg

Ye' shuld git' a' gud kick out o' thi' cartoon too. Make sure ta' hav ur' volume up.

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/Scotch+Egg/

An' thas' th' view ah' wis' lookin a' allllll day! Pretty amazin eh? Ah' maistly jus' wirked oan mah' backcountry ridin bu' wis' able ta' get a' few backcountry jumps in too. Mah mate Rob forgot hes' filmin camera sa' we weren't able ta' doo any o' tha', which sucks a' lot bu' atleaist we wir' able ta get some gud pics.

Thooght thi' wis' a cool perspective. Kind o' alsoo gives ya' a' idea o' th' steepness o' th' slopes.

Thi' wis' at th' top o' th' higheist lift. Trie pronouncin tha' one!

Thi' is a photo o' th' rock shoots we wir' shootin dawn throuh'. Ya' cane seh' me an' mah mates tracks.

Thas' meh! Standin on top o' th' worlllldddd!!

This wis at th' top o' Stubaier Glacier. Think we wir' a' aboot 11,000 feet here!

Well, ah knoo ah haven’t posteid here in ahwhile. Ever saince ah left fur Austria things huv gotten pretty busy. But le’ meh’ tell ya’ aboot mah trip fairst. Wha’ a’ kick it wis! Th’ conditions were bonnie gud! Ah took quite ah few o’ pretty gud pics, I’ll post em up here, leh’ meh’ knoo wha’ ya think o’ em.

Sae I’m aff tae Austria in a few days. Ah huv made sure a' th' necessary stuff is gonna git taken care o' 'ere at th' distillery 'n' ah knoo ah huv left it in guid hauns. Ah spent a' o' yesterday makin sure ah hud a' mah stuff 'n' ah huv everything set oot in mah room duin tae be packed. Wur gonna heid tae Innsbruck foremaist 'n' gang tae Axamer Lizum 'n' Stubaier Glacier. They ur twa sick spots wi' a lot o' open space 'n' alsoo a' lot a’ tight rock shoots tae tear up.

Can’t wait tae hit up thoos après ski parties either. Enjoyin a few brews efter a hard day o' ridin is yin o' th' best hings in th' world! 'N' talkin tae th' cute Austrian ski bunnies ain’t sae ill either…

In case ony o' ye readers wur curious, sometime ah dae a little snowboarding in mah kilt! Here’s a picture tae gie ye an idea o' whit that micht look lik'. Noo th' fella in th' picture isn’t me bit ye git th' idea. It's tons o' fin! 'n' th' Scots birds loue it! (birds as in guid leekin ladies in case ye didn’t catch that) Haha! Cheers.

Huv ony o' ye ever bin tae Austria? Noo that’s a beautiful country. Nae quite as beautiful as Scootlund, bit it's close. Th' best snowboarding ah huv ever dane haes bin in Austria. Ah huv gaen thare mair times than ah kin count 'n' each time a'm blown awa' by th' mountains. Ah stairted snowboarding thare whin ah wis in hiegh school. Yin o' mah mates’ parents wur frae thare 'n' thay used tae gang back 'n' stay wi' thair relatives 'n' go skiing. They’d invite me tae go wi' thaim 'n' ah did, juist aboot every single time thay invited me ah wis thare. This popped intae mah heid cause ah planned ah trip wi' a couple o' mah best buds awhile ago 'n' it's comin up real quick. A'm mad excited fur it. It's gonna be awesome!

Ah weint doon tae th' Nevis Range th'day tae dae some practicing in th' Pairk. Ah concentrated mostly oan rails bit did a few wee kickers tae git aff th' rails fur awhiel. Ah pulled a nasty trick ah huv bin tryin fur sometime noo. A switch 270 tae backslide doon a box rail. 'twas prettay gnarly, ah huv tae say! Th' waither wis dope tae! Sun wis shining a' day 'n' 'twas aboot -4C outdoors, which is perfect shreddin waither. Fur ye readers nae familiar wi' Scootlund (shame oan you!), Ben Nevis is th' tallest ben in Scotland 'n' th' ski area is doon yin pairt o' th' range it's in. I’ll throw some picters up tae shaw ye a' whit kind o' skiing 'n' shreddin Scootlund haes tae offer. (There’s some free advert fur ye bastards!)

Sae ah weint up tae see Mr. Hunter oan Friday. Ah talked tae him fur a guid twa hours afore finally convincing him tae gimme anither chance. He gave me a lecture aboot how ah needed tae be mair responsible aboot payin’ him 'n' how mah faither wid ne'er huv let this happen, blah blah blah. Ah mean, ah understaind ah huv tae be mair responsible wi' this shyte, bit he's git tae realize ah haven't bin daein' this fur gey lang ‘n’ tae cut me some slack. Noo, ah didn’t say this tae him bit ah wis thinking it. Anyway, ah wis glad tae huv worked that oot sae ah decided tae celebrate a wee bit. Gathered up th' baise’ 'n' weint oot drinkin’ at Murph's cousin's pub. We maun huv drank twa cases o' McEwan's before moving oan tae th' whiskey. We hud that steid rockin lik' a'maist ne'er before. Ah say a'maist because ah think th' time we ran up ‘a’ 300 quid tab plus 500 in damages takes th’ prize. Fuckin’ ell’, thas’ ah story ah huv tae tell ye someday. A'richt, gotta gang check th' spirit safe 'n' see how close tae 67% we ur fur th' spirit wine. Hmm, ah didn’t think aboot this before mibbie ah wull stairt writing aboot th' process o' Scotch distilling oan mah blog 'ere. Wid ye readers be interested in that?

Weel, ah huv gotten myself intae a wee bit o' shyte. A'm glad mah faither isn’t around tae see it fur if he wis, he’d lay intae me guid wi' some choice words. Mah faither worked extremely hard tae pat th'gither a strong business kinship wi' yin o' th' best barley farmers in a' th' Hielands, Andrew Hunter. Mr. Hunter nae ainlie grows some o' th' best barley, bit he does it extremely efficiently 'n' therefore th' cost per bushel is a lot lower then some o' th' poorer quality barleys ither distilleries buy. Whin mah faither passed awa', Mr. Hunter 'greed tae continue supplying me exclusively. Noo, 'ere is whaur ah mucked up a bit. We git five bushels o' barley at th' beginnin’ o' eich’ month, which we turn intae malted barley oorselves. Alang wi' th' barley, Mr. Hunter sends th' bill, which in th' paist, mah faither ahlwais’ sent oot within ane or twa days o' getting’ it. Ye blokes kin likelie guess whaur this ends up. In mah ain laziness 'n' stupidity ah huv bin late paying th' bill th' lest three times. Noo a'm goosed. Mr. Hunter sent a letter alang wi' this lest bill ‘n’ shipment saying 'twas oor lest yin 'n' he wis gaun tae be gang elsewhere wi' his barley, somewhere that cuid pay him in a timely manner. Whit th' bugger am ah gonna dae? Ah huv tae go’ see him. Ah huv tae talk tae him face tae face 'n' git him tae change his mynd. If ah lose him as ah’ supplier I’m screwed.

Fuckin’ ell. I’m tellin’ ya, I may haff ta be firin’ Murph prettay soon. He keeps showin’ up ta wirk hung-over frae th’ night before. I’m really doin’ em a favor lettin’ em wirk ‘ere. Maist o' whit he’s doin’ cuid be dane by myself or yin o' th' ither guys. Problem is, th’ guy is one o’ mah mates and I huv known him sin we wur kids. Firin’ th' poor bastard wid pish him aff guid, bit thare wid be a lot less screw ups at the distillery. A'll be thinking this yin thro' ower a tumbler o' mah 27 year aged batch o' whiskey th' neist couple o' nights, thas’ fur sure.

Ello’ Ladies and Gents! Mah name is Finlay Calhoun, bit ye kin ca' me Fin. A'm 24 year auld 'n' ah wis born 'n' raised in bonnie Scotland! One o’ mah favorite things ta do is Snowboard. That kin seem odd tae ye seeing as though ah lee in bonnie Scotland, bit it's an interest that wis sparked by mah foremaist visit tae Austria mony mony years ago. I’ll git intae that efter. A few years ago mah faither passed awa' 'n' ah inherited his Whiskey Distillery. It wasn’t much o' a switch fur me cause’ ah hud ah'ready worked thare growin’ up as ah wee one. Ah juist didn’t think it wid be sae soon, ya know? Weel, thas it fah now, gotta be getting’ back ta th’ mash tuns, th’ wort is a'maist readeh tae be drained. 'til neist time. Cheers.